random bits: conversations (& not), appetite, stress, exercise, Xmas

Some random bits.

Appetite. Most of the past about 2 years, it’s been rather down with me – seems mostly to generally correlate to mood. “Oh well”. Though, at least, roughly last couple months or therabouts, it’s generally doing at least somewhat better. Interesting recent observation. Stumbled into apparently one combination that seems to make me quite ravenous – not that it’s a recommended combination. Toss in lots of stress, not good stress (like exercise), but the bad/negative kind of stress, add to that a fair chunk of exercise / physical exertion – not some moderate amounts like (for me) an hour or so total of moderate exercise per day give or take, but more like 2 to 3 or more hours per day, with most of that being moderately to fairly strenuous – something that gives the muscles a rather good work-out and fair stressing for fair while. Anyway, that combination seems to get me on the quite hungry to rather or maybe even very ravenous side. Stress alone does not do it – have lots of experience with that. Under stress (alone), appetite is generally mostly missing in action (MIA – nowhere to be found) – though it occasionally pops up after about a day or 2 of not eating. Yeah, right, … not good. Hence my “high stress diet” – eat reasonable quantities of reasonable food at reasonable frequency – lest, under stress, I generally otherwise forget to eat … ’till I’m starving, … then stuff my face, and … forget about it again ’till that repeats – not so good. The “high stress diet” is much more reasonable under such circumstances – and avoids piling yet more stress on the body. So, … bad stress plus lots of exercise/exertion appears to yield appetite. Hmmm, maybe that does or would even work without the nasty stress in the mix? I dunno. Maybe I ought try it more often – sans the nasty stress part of it.

Conversations. Had very few of those in recent year(s) – particularly of any significant length, and also especially more than just idle chit-chat. “Oh well”. Did at least have a nice short conversation not too long ago. All of a whopping 2 block walk, anyway. Still, better than nothin’ I guess – not that it’s probable to ever happen again – don’t have contact info. on the person – just random stranger … and … heck, even if I did have contact info., I’d probably never hear back from the person – that’s just how it almost always goes for me. Anyway, maybe bit that worked in that particular case … try and start up the conversation with … the akward person – the person who seemed akward/nervous – even at least rather shy too. And, what may happen? Oh, … they might shy away more, or even run like hell, … who knows, … or, … maybe they’re damn glad someone actually tried to talk to them (quite possibly for a change), welcome it, and respond rather to quite enthusiastically. I think that’s what happened with that 2 block long conversation I had not too long ago. Did strike up (what’s the past tense of strike? Striked? “Striked up a conversation”? “Stroked up a conversation”? – somehow just does not sound correct, … not that English necessarily sounds correct when it is correct, … friggin’ illogical inconsistent language that it is) … anyway, did strike up a conversation … with someone who seems pretty akward/nervous – probably even kind’a shy, … and, … well, went well – at least for the 2 blocks that there was, anyway. “Just” a random stranger. Yeah, one of the dang few of any conversations I’ve had in the past few weeks or so. So what else is new?

Bloody holidays ‘n all that – I do not like. Yeah, most especially Xmas. I really despise all that shopping – mostly for folks I hardly know that I’ll not see or hardly ever see, or will at most see briefly, if at all. And, what do I get out of it? … not that that is or ought be what it’s about, but really, I get damn near nothing out of it. Mostly stuff – almost all of which I don’t want anyway (most of ’em don’t know me hardly at all, and certainly not near well enough to know what I’d actually want, … okay, not that there’s much of anything someone could buy me that I’d want anyway), and some very little time, with folks I rarely see, most of whom live rather to quite far away anyway. To a very large extent, I’m not in, or no longer am in, their lives, nor they in mine. Not quite 100% the case, but pretty darn close. I like what, hear from those folks, for the most part, at most once a year? And many of ’em not even that – don’t even really “hear” from them – some not at all. Maybe I get a card or package. But meet ’em, or actually even have a phone conversation? No, just doesn’t happen. Anyway, still tryin’ to figure what the hell my “strategy” for Xmas and all that is this year, … if I even have, or will have one. Does really need to change – what I’ve done just doesn’t work – well, sure as hell doesn’t work for me anyway. And most all of ’em are adults, not like they’d be crushed if they didn’t get some gift from me – likewise probably mostly stuff they also don’t really want anyway. F*ck this commercial Xmas stuff. Yuck. Yeah, somethin’ like nice “family” vacation together would be hella much better, and less stressful. But, ain’t gonna happen. Folks are far too busy buyin'(/makin’) and wrappin’ and shipping sh*t, among other stuff. Okay, so it’s not all sh*t, but … most of it is … more-or-less … even if quite well intended. Might be much nicer, for the most part, to get the intentions, and not the stuff.

4:08 A.M. – what, me, sleep? Yeah, the “usual”.

And so it goes.


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