Should I “celebrate” me, and/or “my accomplishments” more?  Or at least once in a while, or something like that?

Rather recently got a “Let’s celebrate!” from a friend.  And my reaction/response (slight redacted) was: “Good to know I’m wanted, er, uhm, well, at least someone wants my <redacted> skills and capabilities, anyway.”  And in thinking a bit about that, and perhaps most notably my reaction/response, I started thinking, what have I celebrated of or about me or my accomplishments?  Really quite dang little … hardly anything at all.  I couldn’t really think of anything that particularly jumped to mind.

The traces of examples I could think of?  Well, did think a hair of my 50th birthday.  What did I do on the day?  I took the day off from work.  Who’d I celebrate it with?  On the day – mostly no one, … okay, got call from one member of immediate family – so got birthday wishes from that person, and one “family friend” that lives with that person – and did get something in the mail from said family member, and something arrived late from one other member of immediate family.  And did get nice wishes, via phone, from one friend.  Other than that?  Dragged myself out – didn’t see or meet with anyone I knew all day.  So I had a fairly nice walk and treated myself to a fairly good lunch, but nothin’ all that exciting, and certainly no major celebrating.  Did do a bit of slightly later (“deferred” / “rain check”) “celebrating” with one good close friend a couple days later.  That was sweet and touching.  What about … I dunno, … graduation?  School ceremony, and a dinner really – almost nothing else.  One sort’a kind’a party, but no big party, and not at all specifically for me – was put on by the school.  Awards, certificates, etc.?  Oh, I get those once in a while – certainly have gotten many.  Did I ever ‘celebrate’ any of those? Not really.  First time I got straight A’s in school, or the many subsequent times I did – did I celebrate those?  No.  First four college classes I took, got all A’s, and did I celebrate that?  No.  When, in key classes in my major in college, in classes of about 90 to 150 students, when I got the top score in the class on mid-term or final exam, did I celebrate?  No.  Was more like duck.  (When the instructor bases test grades upon the top test score, with 90% of top being A, 80% being B, etc., and I not only had top score but there was quiet a large gap between my score and the 2nd highest score – so much so I would’ve very substantially pulled down the average grades for the entire class, such is not the way to be popular and gain friends.  Fortunately, in that case, since my score was so high above the 2nd highest,the instructor decided to make an exception and based the grades upon the 2nd highest test score rather than the top score.).  So, really can’t think of much of anything I’ve “celebrated” – certainly at least regarding myself, anyway.  Oh, sure, sometimes maybe I’ll treat myself to dinner or a nice lunch as some minor “celebration” of … well, whatever (some (minor?) accomplishment or another), but even that I don’t do very often, and not in a big way – since it’s typically me dining alone anyway, and only me knowing why I even bothered to treat myself to dinner or whatever.

And it’s not like I lack in accomplishments.  I think it’s more so that I mostly don’t look at it “that way”.  Also, much of what I’ve accomplished is more a sum of a whole lot of, often much smaller parts, rather than hitting some “big thing” or milestone or the like.  It’s not like, oh my gosh, I’ve achieved X, where X is some particular major goal or accomplishment.  E.g. work/career – highly competent and skilled in what I do.  But I guess I mostly treat it more like an iterative process – always a bit more, doing a bit better, … and of course too, there’s always more to do and improve upon – so it’s not like it’s ever “done”.  It goes on.  Likewise on, e.g., personal stuff and growth.  It’s a process, not a “destination” – it’s not like one get there and then, “Oh, I’ve arrived, I can stop now.” – not at all.

Carrot – stick.  Ah, the “carrot and stick” approach.  Maybe I use (a bit) too much stick, and not quite enough carrot on myself?  Well, too much “carrot”, or in general, (over)inflating the ego doesn’t work well for me.  But, … balance.  There’s probably definitely – uhm, … “probably definitely” – that’s oxymoronic.  Let’s try that again.  There exists opportunity for better optimization.  Some more of the “reward” (celebrate, or whatever) – more “carrot” – and less stick (less of “beating myself up” and/or less of being (too) self-critical).  That could work well – or at least better.

Perhaps I’m just not that “into” celebrating.  I’m certainly not a “party animal” – never have been – in fact quite far from it.  But, ah, appreciation – appreciation is good, can be dang excellent.  Maybe I ought appreciate myself more – or more specifically many of the key, good, useful, significant, important even, things I do.  So, yes, appreciation is good.  Being appreciated by other(s) is particularly nice.  But most have at or close to zero clue what I do or why or what’s important to me – well, other than some semi-obvious parts around work/career.  But beyond that, most just do not know – at all.  I wonder if that ought to be “fixed”, and if so, how, or if it is even at all feasible?


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One Response to “Celebrate?”

  1. Gerard RepstheBronx Jordan Says:

    You’ve been nominated.. Good Luck!!! http://bwread.co/2013/03/26/inspiring-blogger-award/

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