Archive for September, 2012

Alcohol (& tobacco/nicotine, drugs, etc.)

2012-09-24 03:43:15 PST

[speaking here from context of a fairly typical USA societal perspective]

Alcohol. I’ve not consumed alcohol since before I was 21. What I find most annoying is its prevalence in society, media and advertising, and its relatively general, not only “acceptance” in society, but the way it quite permeates and is interwoven into society all too generally. Being one that chooses not to drink, I find it rather to highly annoying. Knowing and/or having known some folks, where alcohol is or was a significant to major problem in their lives, I find it even more annoying and disconcerting. It really is everywhere – or certainly damn nearly so. Can’t practically “escape” the sights and reminders. In a lot of ways, I wish it simply wasn’t there – at all. And I don’t mean prohibition – we all well know how that did not work, and likewise not the “war on drugs” – we all well know (or should know) what a colossal waste that has been and continues to be. No, I mean gone – as in just not there, doesn’t exist period – perhaps as if it had never even existed. And likewise all the social pressures on/towards drinking – gone, and as if they’d never existed. Social pressures to drink. Ugh. Yuck. Okay, so, fortunately not nearly as bad as, e.g. late teens and (very) early 20s or so. But nevertheless it’s still very much there and present. Probably very much more noticeable and present in some environments/circumstances/situations, but for better or worse, many of those I’m just not in/around – or hardly at all. E.g. I’m not a “party animal” – so for the dancing or clubbing or larger scale socialization – well, just not my “scene”. I’m not into “dinner parties” or “cocktail parties” or the like – just not interested, or maybe I (almost) never get invited … or both. Just not into it. “Drinks after work”, “let’s go grab a beer”, etc. – really mostly just rather to highly not into it, and certainly not into the alcohol bit of it. Even media such as movies and TV programs and the like. How many good/popular ones, with main/major characters that do not drink at all? Damn near zero – I can’t think of any, haven’t noticed any, and maybe there are none – or very close to none. Same even for minor characters of any significance. The drinking is, rather, practically glorified – or nearly so. Whole lot of shows, it’s a quite significant part – be it the regular, if not excessive, drinking of wine by most or all, or the very regular wind down / wrap up drinking at the pub or bar, or the far too many episodes/scenes where someone drinks rather to quite too much – and usually not portrayed in a particularly negative manner – or nearly as negative as it ought to be. Just far too damn prevalent. And the alcohol – far too problematic and damaging to far too many lives. In terms of percentages, just the number of people for whom alcohol is or has been a problem for them (or simply chose not to drink), and the amount and degree of damage it does – including to those around them and innocents impacted too. Just seems like we as a species, culture, and society, could do a helluva lot better, and mostly or entirely just do away with alcohol. I just really see no practical use or benefit of or from alcohol … at all. Never have, probably never will. Guess I was mostly quite fortunate I stopped drinking when I did – before it was or became a problem for me or I a problem for anyone else “because” of it. Many aren’t nearly so lucky. Just among those I do or have known, I’ve seen it be quite the struggle for them, be highly problematic for them, destroy or significantly destroy their lives, even quite kill them. Alcohol quite sucks, especially what it quite can, and does do, to so very many.

Tobacco – and nicotine. Smoking quite annoys me, pretty much always has. I’ve never smoked – never even tried. And yes, we all very well know – it kills. It’s one I’d also very much like to see totally gone – not only for what it does to folks, but also for how dang annoying it is to be around – and sure, second hand smoke and all that, also not good – not to mention the annoyance factor of breathing it, getting the smell on one’s clothes, etc. Fortunately tobacco and smoking seem to be increasingly unpopular – it’s far from gone, but it’s increasingly marginalized. I think that’s quite the good thing. But gone would be better.

And “all those other drugs”. Certainly not for me – no thanks. Yeah, rather/quite wish they were all gone too. Again, “war on drugs” or the like, is not a solution or “the answer” – or even anything particularly close. Part of it is human – and more generally animal – nature. Many folks want to try – or chase that … high, low, or … just do or try feeling different. Wish that weren’t the case, and that drugs didn’t exist, but alas, that’s not the reality we live in.

And, bit more on me, regarding drugs and alcohol and such. Other than alcohol, never tried anything. Can’t say I wasn’t rather to quite tempted. But I didn’t. Alcohol? Well, was a dumb one to try – not that any would’ve been “smart” – but it was just so damn prevalently available. Heck, with at most possibly one exception, I never spent so much as a penny on any of the alcohol I’d consumed – it was damn near “free flowing” all around me – certainly at least was quite regularly, anyway. So, … dumb me, I tried it. And more than once. The novelty of it and the experience wore off quite quickly. It never did anything at all really useful for me at all. And “of course” more, just made me sick. And too, after a while – there was nothing fun or interesting about it any more at all. And besides, it wasn’t good for me – and I knew that too. So, I simply stopped. Period. No more. Didn’t like it or care for it, never really did, not good for me – so never again. And that was all before I was the legal drinking age of 21. Didn’t drink all that many times, or all that frequently – got somewhere from moderately intoxicated/”buzzed” to rather drunk, a grand total of probably about a half dozen times. That was more than enough, and about a half dozen too many, and that was the end of it for me. Fortunately for me it hadn’t become the problem or addiction it becomes for many, but regardless, it was a dumb thing for me to have been drinking like that or even “fooling around with” or “experimenting with” alcohol. Glad I stopped – and completely – and “forever”. Zero regrets on that. Do quite wish the alcohol didn’t so much as exist in society, but that’s a (mostly) separate matter.

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Seeing someone quite care/love – public displays of affection

2012-09-13 00:04:39 PST

So, cool, nice, touching thing I saw quite recently. Rather wish the likes of which were much more commonly seen/shown/displayed.

I’ll quite leave out the identifiable details.

So, two people, let’s just call ’em B, and A. In a quite crowded spot, B and A enter quite close together – I don’t quite notice that as they enter, but quite so immediately after. Very close together, A, not so close as wrapped around B, yet quite close, they almost move in unison so smoothly it looks highly natural and almost quite as if they were moving as a unit, rather than as two. B moves against a “wall” of sorts, A staying a quite constant close distance alongside B as they move – almost seems odd they could move that closely and in unison, without stepping on each other’s feet – especially the angle they were facing and moved in, and worked their way rather quickly through the crowded bit of space from entrance to off quite to the side. So, B pretty much leans/presses to the wall of sorts, A keeps right alongside B. A positions rather quite like a “shield” around B – A’s back mostly to the crowd – between most of the folks there and around there, and B, and B pressing self rather quite to the “wall” – as if to almost want to disappear into the wall, or at least shrink back from the crowd and be as unnoticed as possible. B was mostly facing away from me, so I didn’t get to see face or facial expression for the most part, but movement, positioning, body language, etc., all seemed to quite suggest, if not indicate, that B felt sad, perhaps upset, scared, uncomfortable, depressed, hurt – some thing or things along those lines – and not at all towards A – close with A, but B looking as if B wanted to disappear from – if not quite escape from – the crowd. A around B, close, … A reaching around and behind B, touching/stroking back of head and hair, neck, back. A leaning in very close in front of B, and down too, in front of B – directly in front of direction B’s head was facing – somewhat downward, A saying, mere inches in front of B, what I presume were some comforting/consoling words – enough for B to hear, but so softly no one else could so much as make out a whisper of what was said – very privately said – or affording such – in a very public space. The whole while as I and they were there – probably a bit over 20 minutes – A, ever present, acting as shield/buffer between B and crowd, body and arms of A placed physically quite between B and crowd – almost a one person “security cage” around B – not only physically, but in body language and specific positioning too, and quite attending and attentive to B, not squeezing or suffocating B, but A, very tender and close. Rather quite reminds me – of instances of animal – or person – quite putting their body on the line to shield another, from any actual – or perceived – threat or danger. But there was more too – the deep caring, concern, and attentiveness shown, and the highly appropriate and powerful focus of A on B – not the slightest indications of A being at all the slightest bit self-conscious or giving a damn about what anybody else thought or what it looked like – just totally focused, A on B and A protecting, shielding, and attending to and closely watching B. Anyway, I just thought it was pretty damn special and impressive to see the caring, level of caring, and to see it quite displayed like that – not at all flaunting it or anything even near to that, but just being so intensely attentive – quite as if – if not very much so the case, that in that moment, and in that time, nothing else mattered – not in the least.

Anyway, just a damn cool impressive thing to see. Seems we ought to see a helluva lot more sights and actions like that … but seems we mostly just don’t. Seems just typically doesn’t get shown, demonstrated, or done to that level and intensity – certainly at least not out in public, anyway. Why the hell not? Are things just not felt that much or that commonly or to that degree? Or are folks too afraid or self-conscious to express and show such – at least when others are also around?

Some random bits (some more specific thoughts/feelings seeing such I may put on a separate blog entry). I was relatively “behind” B, in positioning when B settled into position against “wall”, with A mostly surrounding B. I moved back a bit more – I myself was against same “wall” – to give them a bit more room and “space” – though there wasn’t all that much room to move around and reposition anyway – but I gave ’em what additional space I reasonably could. I did watch/notice/observe – but as unobtrusively and noninvasively as feasible – e.g. didn’t stare or directly look much, but mere feet from me and almost directly ahead of me, wasn’t much to be missed even without explicitly watching. I mostly took role of “passive” observer, … bit of smile, perhaps trace of a nod, but otherwise no comment, “reaction”, or intrusion by me towards their interactions.

OkCupid matches: interesting – odd? “weird?” 2/3 F Bi?

2012-09-12 20:50:50 PST

OkCupid matches: interesting – odd? “weird?”
So, … OkCupd … I do a search of matches, by match %, these are F interested in M (“Girls who like guys”) … top 27 matches, 2/3 of ’em Bi. By match % (OkCupid’s sort, not mine), and with “orientation”:
99% Bi
99% Bi
99% Bi
99% Bi
99% Bi
99% Bi
99% Bi
99% Straight
99% Bi
99% Bi
99% Bi
99% Straight
99% Bi
99% Straight
99% Straight
99% Straight
99% Bi
99% Straight
99% Straight
99% Bi
98% Straight
98% Bi
97% Bi
97% Straight
97% Bi
97% Bi
97% Bi