OkCupid profile – optimize it!

Okay, so … I’ve done a fair amount of earlier work on my OkCupid profile. Nevertheless, as I’m presently writing this, it still leaves a lot to be desired. So, beyond “mere” further tweaks, I’m going to give it a fairly significant “overhaul”. It’s not that I’m any different. It’s also not that it’s at all inaccurate or untrue – and I’ve no intention or desire to change that aspect of it. Notably, however, it can, while still remaining highly true and accurate, be much better optimized to achieve the types of results I’d wish it to achieve. Not that I’d ever suddenly start getting zillions of messages from women I’d be very inclined to meet. But, … perhaps I’ll at least significantly increase the paltry dearth of (about zero) initial messages I receive from any women at all – let alone any that are or would be anywhere close to compatible. And, probably more significantly, hopefully significantly increase the response rate – and positive response rate, I get from women where I initially message them. While, when I do message them, they do typically at least view my profile, about 90% of the time, they don’t message me back. Such numbers generally quite suck for straight guys on “dating” sites anyway. But, at least as far as I can tell, I ought to be able to get something much closer to a roughly 1/3 or so response rate in them at least returning a message from my initial message to them.

And, thankfully too, I’ve gotten some really good feedback, etc. on my profile. Not gonna say what person(s) or such, but much thanks to any and all that have provided or do provide such. And thanks too, to any and all that provide any type of criticism (especially constructive), feedback, opinions, comments, messages (especially anything about what one does/doesn’t like or find “attractive” about my profile, or “me”), etc. All such input and feedback appreciated (and considered, etc.).

So … I may add (much?) more to this post later, but, for point of reference, as I’m presently writing this on 2012-06-23, I present below what I have (or at least earlier today had) on my OkCupid profile – not absolutely everything (I’ve answered well over 2,500 questions publicly), but most of the “main page” profile bits, and such.

OkCupid main profile photo on 2012-06-23

49 / M / Straight / Single
Berkeley, California

My self-summary
Quite a good guy[1]. Deep, intelligent, knowledgeable, (life) experienced, caring[1], communicative[2], moral/ethical, honest[3], warm, affectionate, direct, witty/amusing/humorous[4], very grown up[5] yet also playful; logical, scientific, technical; rather fit, fairly active; interesting & interested.

1. but not a doormat or pushover.
2. but tending towards quiet/shy – at least at first
3. perhaps to a fault?
4. but don’t expect me to keep you in stitches all day
5. mature (but not “old”), responsible, serious, …

OkCupid has relegated its “journal” function to “in retirement”.
So, I’ve created blog of fair bit of relevance – including a lot of semi-personal stuff in it too. It may not be best to start there, as that may land one quite out-of-context. If, however, one’s looked over my profile at least a fair bit, and wants to know rather to quite a bit more … one can of course ask me … and/or one can also read/skim some or much of my blog stuff. The blog stuff might also fit in much more appropriate context not only after becoming familiar with my profile, etc. here on OkCupid, but also when reading/skimming the blog stuff, it might be best to proceed in chronological order. In any case, blog is here:

[the “My Details” shows just to the right of the main column, so I’m guestimating this is approximate order folks would typically read/skim it]

My Details
Last Online Online now!
Ethnicity –
Height 5′ 8″ (1.73m).
Body Type Average
Diet Mostly anything
Smokes No
Drinks Not at all
Drugs Never
Religion Atheism but not too serious about it
Education Dropped out of college/university
Job Science / Tech / Engineering
Income Rather not say
Offspring –
Pets Likes cats
Speaks English (Fluently)

What I’m doing with my life
What I’m doing with my life
Paying attention to much (friends, relationships, work, much etc.,),
playing – at least some fair bit.
Mostly trying to be the best person I feasibly can be – while trying to not fail to reasonably take into account that I’m human.

I’m really good at
observing, testing/checking
using what I know/find/discover,
analyzing, making things better,
solving and fixing things and generally finding better ways to do/accomplish/optimize whatever,
working generally quite well, and very hard at whatever, but not overly so,
being intense,
being relaxed,
being rather to quite precise and accurate in what I communicate,
being quite punctual (I very much respect people’s time),
most things technical, and many other things too,
being a generally quite/damn nice/decent person – but not a pushover or doormat,
being a damn good friend, or for some, even up through very much more.

The first things people usually notice about me
Well, I managed to ask, and have been told:
“Sparkling blue eyes, warm smile, and that you’re a heck of a lot better looking in person than your profile pics would indicate.”

And if you’ve actually met me, feel free to tell me, and I can add/update as appropriate.

There’s also lots that may eventually be noticed, but not anywhere near to first. Much of that’s scattered on/about my profile on here and/or on at least some of my blog stuff.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
There’s lots, and this list is both (way?) too long and highly incomplete – so feel free to skip it, skim it … or read it very closely and try to guestimate a more complete extrapolated list – or most anything between.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, et. seq., Alice in Wonderland, Through the Looking-Glass, a whole lot of non-fiction, with an emphasis on, but not exclusively on/towards: science, technical, engineering, electronics, computers, software

2001: A Space Odyssey, Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, Inception, Women in Love, Pink Floyd The Wall, Benny & Joon, Kill Bill: Volumes 1 & 2, Pulp Fiction, The Dark Knight (and my favorite character in it: Alfred), The Fog of War, Standard Operating Procedure, Life of Brian, The Meaning of Life, Young Frankenstein, The Matrix, et. seq., Twelve Monkeys, The Breakfast Club, Eyes Wide Shut, The Game, Rabbit of Seville, Pink Panther cartoons, Doctor Who, The Caterpillar, An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge, Night Crawlers, Firefly, My So-Called Life, Mercy, Skins, Wire in the Blood, Louie

San Francisco Mime Troupe, Free Shakespeare in the Park, AWD, Stern Grove Festival, San Francisco Symphony, San Francisco Opera, and various: other often quite varied and typically smaller performances, museums and exhibits, etc.

Fair spattering of 60s through current rock & pop music, and a fair bit lighter spattering of some select bits from almost anything. Select semi-random sampling: Pink Floyd, Queen, Kate Bush, The Beatles, Moody Blues, Linkin Park, much etc.; Don’t Fear the Reaper – Blue Oyster Cult, Oh, Pretty Woman – Roy Orbison, 500 Miles – The Proclaimers, Boom Boom Ba – Metisse, Kashmir – Led Zeppelin, Voices – Russ Ballard, Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen) – Baz Luhrmann, Toccata and Fugue in D minor, BWV 565 – Johann Sebastian Bach, Brothers in Arms – Dire Straits

Some cuisines I quite/generally/often like: Thai, Japanese, Brazilian, Indian, Italian, Greek, Mediterranean, Chinese, BBQ, Mexican, Korean, Spanish, California, Vietnamese, French

The six things I could never do without
not much (if anything?) beyond necessities. Beyond that, top “six” of wouldn’t want to do without, and not necessarily (quite?) in order:


caring, love, passion, interests and interesting person(s) and stuff to think/ponder/work/”play” and build with/on/about/upon

human touch, maybe even sex

technology (communication/knowledge/information, benefits and good efficiencies technologies bring us, partaking of and in technology, and doing good/useful stuff with technology)

fresh air & at least a bit of nature

art/expression, in its many forms

I spend a lot of time thinking about
many things. Commonly: understanding and learning more about most anything and everything – other person(s), situation(s), interactions, processes, myself, the planet, particular technology(/ies), and generally using that to analyze, further my understanding, and improve whatever/whomever/however as feasible – e.g. someone else’s happiness or situation, use of a technology, making myself better, much etc. Often carefully analyzing and considering all kinds of things, to make the best feasible moral/ethical decisions, choices, and courses of action – not only in advance of and in midst of, but also after, to better learn how most anything might possibly have been done at least a bit better, and to learn from that to apply to future. Working to best optimize what I do and how – especially when, wittingly or not, others may emulate or replicate what I do and/or how. How, and what bits I can do, to be a better person.

And occasionally pondering random stuff like why does OkCupid keep telling me “Wow, you answered all of the questions!” – it’s been saying so for many months now, and hasn’t given me a single new question to answer. Surely there must be some new questions out there. (I’ve found way to get to some few of the new questions and answer them, but it won’t let me get there the “standard” ways and go through all the new ones I’ve not yet answered).

On a typical Friday night I am
enjoying the start of my weekend, or preparing for such.
Among some of many possibilities, I might be:
chillin’ with some coworkers,
wrapping up and finishing off goop I want done and out of the way,
planning/outlining my weekend (specifics and/or possibilities),
working on or doing some cool or volunteer thing,
catching up on stuff I want to read, view, write, or respond to,
cooking, eating,
heading off for the weekend,
having a nice time with:
acquaintance(s), friend(s), “date”, or maybe more? – or sometimes just me,
or none of the above, or something totally different.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
on here, well, there’s no shortage of semi-private stuff admitted – among profile details, question answers and explanations, “tests”, much content on linked blog, etc. I’m not sure exactly which bit(s) are or would be “most private”, but there’s certainly a lot of at least relatively private stuff mixed throughout.

And that I’m willing to admit at all, would likely only be admitted to those, or more likely just one, I rather to quite very much trust. I’d “need” to know that person rather to very well first. And even then, I might not admit “whatever” … well, … if I even have or had anything all that particularly/especially private to admit to (might possibly be willing to “admit” most, or “everything”, somewhat more easily than that).

But the aforementioned is only regarding to things about myself. I very closely and carefully guard and respect the privacy of others, and tend to very much err on the side of caution in not sharing stuff about others.

I’m looking for
Girls who like guys
Ages 23–54
Near me
For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners

You should message me if
you at all want to or are inclined, curious, just want to say “hi” or tell me or ask me something, or whatever.

I’ll typically reply if it at least appears/seems you’d wish that, and
you’re not some spammer or being a jerk about it, and I’m not otherwise being overburdened with message from here, and/or other stuff going on in life (if anything, most likely to just delay my response). Constructive criticism also appreciated.

profile photo - full size, viewable from "Photos" "tab"

profile photo (full size, viewable from “Photos” “tab”)

Anyway, I’ll likely keep, within the above, that information from my OkCupid profile as of 2012-06-23.
However, I may add/change the text above and below that (e.g. I may comment more specifically about why I made certain changes).
So, … keep that in mind with the comments below (they may possibly comment upon what may have been on this blog entry earlier, rather than what’s here at present – likewise my OkCupid profile may continue to change).


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One Response to “OkCupid profile – optimize it!”

  1. MichaelBerkeley Says:

    And … at least at present, still dragging way behind on getting my OkCupid profile *much* more “properly” updated. Part of it, is spending too much time on it is rather to quite a downer. Sort’a like doing my resume – lots of fine stuff, but It tends to drag me down after a while – and once that happens, I can’t write it *nearly* as well, as a sunken mood then quite bleeds through into the writing – even if in very subtle ways, and it makes the whole thing … if not exactly “suck”, definitely drags it significantly below where it “ought” to be and what I can quite reasonably manage to do on it. And, “of course”, with OkCupid, it’s *much* more personal than a resume or the like. So, that tends to make it even more challenging. So, … take a break from it – at *least* somewhat. Can always come back to it more later. In the meantime, taking / wiggling in, some more “me” time – notably better attending to myself … as I could probably certainly do with more/better of that. Of course “us” time would be better, but can’t have quality “us” and “we” time, if there just ain’t no “us” or “we” there to be havin’ time with. Oh well. And so it goes.

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