You can tell me *anything* (a.k.a. I’m a good person to talk to)

So, bit below, and definitely somewhat redacted (it mostly already completely lacked personally identifiable details, but … further redaction for “public” consumption), and format adjusted slightly for here, something I’d earlier sent to someone. Anyway, not withstanding the aforementioned redacting and formatting for here (and, okay, at least one typo fix), I include that contiguous section from what I’d earlier sent.

I’ll also note/state that such doesn’t necessarily highly and fully apply for absolutely anyone and everyone (e.g. not so or as applicable for complete and total random stranger on the street to be telling me something). To clarify, what does quite apply, no matter who tells me and how much or little I know them – if at all – is my regard for and protection of people’s privacy.

The bit that isn’t so, or as applicable, for someone I don’t at least somewhat reasonably know at all, is how my impression of them may be impacted by what they tell me of themselves and/or other persons – probably most notably because I’ve not yet so much as even particularly formed any impression or opinion regarding the person telling me – so thus one will tend to be formed (can’t particularly prevent myself from doing that) quite based upon what they do tell me.

But, certainly at least for someone I “know” at least some reasonable amount, the following is quite fully applicable in all regards. Anyway, without further introduction, I present it below:

Also, you can tell me anything. I’ll mention that here too, in case you’d not already reasonably presumed such or otherwise figured it out. That’s in addition to I’m “not the jealous type”, and I don’t particularly do envy, and I very much don’t do anger (I think I mentioned that somewhere on my blog – but I forget off-the-top-of-my-head if I covered it there, or not). [Edit: yes, I did mention it earlier.  Look around 60% of the way into this older blog entry.]

So, you can tell me anything. I’m certainly not going to tell you to, or suggest that you do – quite up to you what you wish to share and feel comfortable sharing. But I will say, that I very much err on the side of caution regarding anything anyone tells me and their privacy, etc. If I don’t know that they’ve very much made it public and wish it to be so, or have reasonable basis to know or presume what and/or how much, to what extent, and with whom, they want to share some information or detail about themselves (or a family member, etc.), I generally just won’t share such at all, or only to the extent I have good reason to be sure of what they wish to share, to what extent, and with whom. E.g., you probably noticed – [redacted] I’ve shared relatively little of that – with anyone, and even where I’ve shared some fair/reasonable bit with anyone, it’s generally been with no identifiable details. Very few I’ve even told so much as first name of [redacted] what happened with [redacted], etc. And the only ones that know [redacted] full name, in addition to particularly any of the [redacted] bits that happened, are those that already knew or otherwise were and became involved and knew at least much of that information some other way anyway, and where there was some rather to quite appropriate reasons for them to know more (e.g. [redacted]). Hmmmm… not that I particularly lie – very rarely do, but, e.g. to protect someone’s privacy, … yeah, sure, sometimes I’ll do that. E.g. [redacted] knows (of) [redacted] – [redacted] even met [redacted]. So, … [redacted] might occasionally ask how [redacted] doing and such. Well, I’d earlier told [redacted] about [redacted], but not particularly about [redacted]. But [redacted] doesn’t know the half of it … okay, not even 1% and probably not even 1/10th of 1% of it. As things went [redacted], I said essentially zilch to [redacted] about that – other than perhaps quite earlier mentioning [redacted]. When [redacted] subsequently inquired at various times, I’m sure I managed to deflect some questions along the way, and fairly likely I probably lied about one or two things [redacted] quite directly and/or explicitly inquired on, “just” to throw [redacted] off the track and protect [redacted] privacy. “Of course”, also, … [redacted]. So, in addition to reasons for [redacted] privacy, I certainly don’t want to tell [redacted] of [redacted] and more-or-less knows or at least knows of, that [redacted] – or even hardly tell [redacted] a bit about that, and I certainly am not going to tell [redacted] that [redacted]. So, … as you might guess, … I don’t go spreading stuff around. I might, e.g., suck up the rumors (not that I much care for them … but … they’re data points – though generally rather to highly unreliable, if not patently incorrect, data points), but I sure as heck don’t spread such around.

So, … in summary of that way too long paragraph, … you can tell me pretty much anything, and I won’t go spreading it around – or really, even, saying diddly about it to anyone (e.g. on [redacted]).

I’ll also mention/add, that I’m very non-judgemental. Well, okay, some flavors of measurement may paint me as a bit to rather judgemental (but maybe mostly of self? I’m very judgemental and constantly reevaluating and reanalyzing and quite critical of myself). However, regarding others – and especially friends, etc., I’m quite to very understanding, and very non-judgemental. So, … it’s not like I’d think “badly” of you, or anyone else, based upon what they told me they’d done, experienced, thought, felt, whatever. After all, among other things, “just” because someone tells me something – whatever it is – that doesn’t change who they are, or what they did/didn’t do, experience, etc. My knowing, and especially by their telling me, well, it shouldn’t, and generally quite doesn’t, negatively impact my impression of them. If anything, I typically feel at least a bit privileged that they even so much as trust and/or bother, to share such with me. In general, I quite like to learn and understand more of a person, and being judgemental would rather mess up and interfere with that. So, I try to be at least as non-judgemental as I feasibly can (and I’ve certainly heard some interesting, amazing, intense, and even very extreme things, from at least some folks, over the years, but …
‘nough said).


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